Reality

Living with two bloggers has really gotten me fired up about writing again.

Much has changed since I wrote last….. here is a quick over view:

I moved : I love the house I live in. My flatmates are my family…

I changed jobs: I am a 2^nd 3^rd and 4^th grade teacher at a private school in Addis Ababa now. I am teaching literature. My kids are everything. I love them like I will love my own children.

……and I have become much more content with my life in general.

I realize that it has been way too long since my last entry….and way too much has changed to recount more than I just did. So here is reality….

I love Ethiopia….and I belong here.  Daily, silly things still catch me off guard. Sometimes I see something or think about how completely crazy and backwards things are here and I can’t help but smile, think ENDEHHH? …and thank God that I live here. Before those things were most of the time annoying…..like everyone ALWAYS being late or having to go to 5 different shops to find plaster….Now, I love the fact that I know if something is supposed to start at 530pm I can start to get ready at 545pm and then go and get some dinner at 615pm and arrive about 7pm, mingle for about 30mins socializing and finally find my seat around 730pm. And the fact that when I go to those 5 different shops, I find 5 different things that I needed….

I can’t say that I made an EASY transition into Habesha life…it was actually the most difficult thing I have ever been through. However, I am so completely immersed in this culture and lifestyle that the pains and sufferings of the beginning months seem so distant and almost dream like to me now.

As some of you may now know I have decided to extend my year here until at least June 2012. Of course there are things that could change this decision but, at the present moment, I cannot fathom returning to western culture. I have often wondered why, every time I think of going back, my stomach is in knots but with timely consideration,  I think I have discovered a big part of  why.

As I have grown up, I have become aware of my alarming quickness to anger. I was a very angry child/teenager. I don’t know all the causes of my anger but I know one was mainly because of the close mindedness of people. I was raise to see the world as one country and mankind its citizens. My parents taught me to empathize with people suffering around the world even though I didn’t know their name, or what they were going through.  Here, life is so hard, most everyone appreciates the simple gifts of everyday life. This is an appreciation and atmosphere that is rarely found in western culture. My anger here is almost non- existent. I can recall two times that I have felt anger here and both times it was easily overcome.  I am terrified of returning to the western society and mindset because I believe my anger will be tenfold now. Now that I know the 12 year old girl that sells her body for 150 birr at night to feed her little brother and sister. 150 birr is less than 10 USD….10! I know the little boys name that sleeps on the corner by my house, with no shoes and just a t.shirt….even during rainy season. I’m never going to be able to spend $10 again without thinking about this 12 year old girl….and it’s going to make me so angry and sad to be in a society that is always consuming and complains about, really…..nothing. Until I can figure out how to channel these intense emotions into something productive and sustainable I don’t want to return.  It will make me and the people around me unhappy. Here, in Ethiopia, I feel like I know how to properly channel these emotions….and it’s a feeling of contentment  and achievement that I have never experienced before….and its not something I am willing to give up yet. So to all you back home….I know you will never  fully understand the hold this magic and captivating land has on me but trust me when I tell you, I’m home.  I love you all dearly and miss you more than ever, but this place is where my heart is, at least until June…